Side One (or "I agree with the article. It's science."):
"I am totally sick of all the mommy posts all over my facebook news feed. And stop telling me I want babies. I for-reals don't."
Side Two (or, "This article is stupid, the author is stupid, and I hate science"):
"Oh, but you dooooooooo want babies. I can't remember what life was like before my daughter Dakota was born. And I am sooooooooo happy, and you should be this happy with me, stranger-I-have-never-met. Now. Here are 500 pictures of my child in her car seat."
And then everyone just yelled at each other, with accusations from each side about how the other will never understand what it means to be happy.
So. There's that.
I'd like to offer an objective commentary on this whole thing. I am an educated woman with a child, husband, and walgreens.com account, and I pride myself in my ability to analyze tricky issues in a fair and unbiased manner. With that said, I firmly believe that I have managed avoid this whole "delusion" of which the article is implying. With that, I can safely say, without lying to myself or to you, that I am 100% happy. The article has a valid point, but I do not believe that it applies specifically to me.
So, I'll just wrap this up right about now, and just reach on up here to close this lap top riiiiiiiight about....
...What's that? Oh, you want to know if that is still true after I cleaned poop out of my tub for the THIRD time this past week? Shh, I say. Shhh...
Did I hear someone ask about the second ear infection within a 14 day stretch? La la la la... can't hear you.
Oh, this crusty layer of boogers all over my shirts? It's fashions. FASHIONS!!
I like my house this messy, I totally don't miss my friends, and I prefer to only have sex during the kid's naptime on the weekends.
See? No need for delusion, and I'll just wrap this up riiiight abooooout now--OKAY OKAY FINE. Quit yellin', geez! Of course I am delusional in my happiness! Does this shit sound like FUN to you?? Granted, there are a whole lot of cute and lovely things that really do make the kid worth it. But all of those are totally lame to the outside world without some embellishment.
Non-Exaggerated Example:
So the baby farted the other day, and I was all "Oh boy, Levi." :chuckles to self.:
Exaggerated Example:
Levi brings new joys to our lives all the time, and the days are just packed with baby giggles and chubby toddler feet. He's also super ahead developmentally, and I think we are going to sign him up for music lessons soon...
See what I mean?
So, to be completely honest...Would I really recommend this whole "mom" gig? If you're so inclined to take it, yes I do. Do it, do it, DO it. But do I blame or judge other people who opt out of this whole deal? Of course not. We're all fine just the way we are. And plus, I still need all you non-parents to take your fabulous vacations so I can live vicariously through you..
Now. On to finish uploading these pics of Levi onto facebook.
...497....498...499...
